14.12.08
30.11.08
29.11.08
...
Amongst the entire institutional and administrative framework, the worst reaction to the incidents of the last few days was from, as expected, our politicians:
1 - Sonia Gandhi reads a speech off a teleprompter in her halting Hindi, doubly alienating her from anyone who should be listening. And she makes a speech before our Head of State, illustrating once and for all who holds the reins in this country.
2 - Manmohan Singh gives the most insipid speech i've heard given by any head of state. His speech defending his government during the vote of no confidence had more life in it. And this guy was supposed to be a politician with a difference.
3 - Shivraj Patil is as confused as ever, never knowing what is going on as he fidgets in his prim and proper safari suit. On Thursday, when reporters throng him for news on the arrested terrorist's interrogation, he begins a soliloquy on V.P. Singh. What will it take to fire him?
4 - L.K. Advani along with his smiling fascists turns up at Oberoi and makes veiled references to intelligence failure. The NSG fires at terrorists in the background and this guy stands within his Z+ security cordon mouthing off for a few votes.
5 - Narendra Modi says 'I told you so'. Apparently, the handling of this incident was worse than Godhra in 2002. Or maybe he's just forgotten it.
6 - R.R. Patil first says there are 2 terrorists loose in the city. Then retracts his statement. Then makes it again. This is the Home Minister of Maharashtra.
7 - Vilasrao Deshmukh looks to either his Chief Secretary or DGP for EVERY question at a press conference. How does one have the guts to come to such a sensitive press conference without being prepared?
8 - The saviour of the Marathi Manoos Raj Thackeray decides to overlook all north indian and south indian contributions in saving the city. Declares a bandh on Monday, when another form of terrorism has ensured we've had three days of bandh already.
9 - Milind Deora, for suggesting politicians visiting terror stricken areas do not impose any additional load on the police "since they come with their own security". Security drawn from the NSG corps. No wonder we do not have a battalion in every state as was the intention of founding this group.
There is a problem with the parliamentary system of democracy if i, as a citizen, cannot put any of these guys to task. i elect an MLA who may or may not help appoint a Chief Minister. If i feel the CM is not doing his job well, i fire the MLA who might have actually been good. Ditto for the MP and the Prime Minister. It gets worse for the corporator, who's only job is to make so much noise that the Municipal Commissioner is irritated enough to take action.
How can things change?
1 - Sonia Gandhi reads a speech off a teleprompter in her halting Hindi, doubly alienating her from anyone who should be listening. And she makes a speech before our Head of State, illustrating once and for all who holds the reins in this country.
2 - Manmohan Singh gives the most insipid speech i've heard given by any head of state. His speech defending his government during the vote of no confidence had more life in it. And this guy was supposed to be a politician with a difference.
3 - Shivraj Patil is as confused as ever, never knowing what is going on as he fidgets in his prim and proper safari suit. On Thursday, when reporters throng him for news on the arrested terrorist's interrogation, he begins a soliloquy on V.P. Singh. What will it take to fire him?
4 - L.K. Advani along with his smiling fascists turns up at Oberoi and makes veiled references to intelligence failure. The NSG fires at terrorists in the background and this guy stands within his Z+ security cordon mouthing off for a few votes.
5 - Narendra Modi says 'I told you so'. Apparently, the handling of this incident was worse than Godhra in 2002. Or maybe he's just forgotten it.
6 - R.R. Patil first says there are 2 terrorists loose in the city. Then retracts his statement. Then makes it again. This is the Home Minister of Maharashtra.
7 - Vilasrao Deshmukh looks to either his Chief Secretary or DGP for EVERY question at a press conference. How does one have the guts to come to such a sensitive press conference without being prepared?
8 - The saviour of the Marathi Manoos Raj Thackeray decides to overlook all north indian and south indian contributions in saving the city. Declares a bandh on Monday, when another form of terrorism has ensured we've had three days of bandh already.
9 - Milind Deora, for suggesting politicians visiting terror stricken areas do not impose any additional load on the police "since they come with their own security". Security drawn from the NSG corps. No wonder we do not have a battalion in every state as was the intention of founding this group.
There is a problem with the parliamentary system of democracy if i, as a citizen, cannot put any of these guys to task. i elect an MLA who may or may not help appoint a Chief Minister. If i feel the CM is not doing his job well, i fire the MLA who might have actually been good. Ditto for the MP and the Prime Minister. It gets worse for the corporator, who's only job is to make so much noise that the Municipal Commissioner is irritated enough to take action.
How can things change?
14.9.08
Cosmopolis...
At 11.47 PM near my house, passed a Ganpati immersion procession sponsored by a Tulu speaking restaurateur, followed by a truck with some Bihari boys dancing to "Singh is King". Refreshments on the roadside provided in the memory of a Gujarati resident of the area, with the food supplied by a Muslim shop owner. The Sindhi residents of the opposite building line the roadside with flowers and rice to throw at the idol.
i am not making this up.
i am not making this up.
15.8.08
In rememberance...
Today is Independence Day and all the channels on TV are full of gung-ho patriotism. Obviously, the fact that we just won a gold medal at the Olympics has added fuel to the jingoistic fire. Snapshots from the freedom movement rule the day and if i see another file picture of Nehru releasing doves or Gandhi on the Dandi March i will scream. Or of Kapil Dev holding aloft the Cricket World Cup or even Vajpayee giving the thumbs-up after conducting nuclear tests. All nice, fun times. Not a single bad memory in the public archive?
Agreed its a day to celebrate the survival of a nation for 61 years many considered doomed at birth. But living in a world where everyone has rose tinted glares seems to be a daily phenomenon here. Barely three weeks ago, 60 bombs were found in 3 different cities, 25 of which went off, killing a fairly large number of people. Last year, there were bomb blasts in Hyderabad. A year before that, blasts in Mumbai's trains. Six years ago, a communal conflagration whose effects are still seen in every act of politics in that state. A separatist movement in a state given a boost by a communal group's protests - encouraged by a political party with its eyes at the next election - is still raging on.
All of this has faded from public memory. Not a single reminder to any of these events exist. And there will be none for any other events that seem to distract us from the old fantasy of a happy, peaceful India with 'unity in diversity' (whatever that means) propagated through Doordarshan's 5 minute films.
There is not a single post-Independence memorial for soldiers. No mechanism for remembering the tsunami or the various bomb blasts that have plagued us in the last 15 years. No museum dares to put up an exhibit of a communal riot. These symbols of the memory of a shared tragedy are not mere lip service. They become the focus of a collective catharsis which concludes with a will to not let that event occur again. Maybe that's why the same security lapses and the same excuses from governments allow riots and bombs to take place again and again. Or the failure of the met department to predict a cyclone is forgiven time and time again. Or political parties are not ostracised for causing pain and loss to millions of people.
It seems even at the age of 61, India wants to live in an imagination of itself.
Agreed its a day to celebrate the survival of a nation for 61 years many considered doomed at birth. But living in a world where everyone has rose tinted glares seems to be a daily phenomenon here. Barely three weeks ago, 60 bombs were found in 3 different cities, 25 of which went off, killing a fairly large number of people. Last year, there were bomb blasts in Hyderabad. A year before that, blasts in Mumbai's trains. Six years ago, a communal conflagration whose effects are still seen in every act of politics in that state. A separatist movement in a state given a boost by a communal group's protests - encouraged by a political party with its eyes at the next election - is still raging on.
All of this has faded from public memory. Not a single reminder to any of these events exist. And there will be none for any other events that seem to distract us from the old fantasy of a happy, peaceful India with 'unity in diversity' (whatever that means) propagated through Doordarshan's 5 minute films.
There is not a single post-Independence memorial for soldiers. No mechanism for remembering the tsunami or the various bomb blasts that have plagued us in the last 15 years. No museum dares to put up an exhibit of a communal riot. These symbols of the memory of a shared tragedy are not mere lip service. They become the focus of a collective catharsis which concludes with a will to not let that event occur again. Maybe that's why the same security lapses and the same excuses from governments allow riots and bombs to take place again and again. Or the failure of the met department to predict a cyclone is forgiven time and time again. Or political parties are not ostracised for causing pain and loss to millions of people.
It seems even at the age of 61, India wants to live in an imagination of itself.
3.8.08
Reversal...
Recently there was a small news item amongst all the excitement about the trust vote about women two wheeler riders in Pune. To protect themselves from heat and pollution, a lot of them cover their faces with scarves, which now the police find to be a security threat as one cannot determine the identity of the person with the scarf.
Oddly enough, there was also a woman from the NCW who must've felt she is in some surreal nightmare as she defended the right of the women to cover their heads and faces. A two wheeler rider also felt that if women can wear burkhas and ride bikes, then why can't she wear a scarf over her face. Even stranger was the normally ultra-conservative police force asking women to NOT cover their heads and faces.
This brought to mind a legislation in France a few years ago, which made the display of overt religious symbols an offence, where burkha clad women protested saying its their right to wear what they want to wear. And the modern, secular, gender-sensitive state cracks down on them. Orhan Pamuk's Snow speaks of a similar irony in secular Turkey where wearing the burkha, even out of choice and not out of compulsion, is seen as a sign of fundamentalism and chauvinism.
Secularism and modernity contradict themselves all the time. Yet, it's odd to see and hear things like these, when one more or less thinks the lines between two polarities have been clearly etched and the two sides very easily definable. So does one say that in one case, allowing women to cover their heads is okay and in another it's not?
Or does one simply wear a helmet on a two wheeler?
Oddly enough, there was also a woman from the NCW who must've felt she is in some surreal nightmare as she defended the right of the women to cover their heads and faces. A two wheeler rider also felt that if women can wear burkhas and ride bikes, then why can't she wear a scarf over her face. Even stranger was the normally ultra-conservative police force asking women to NOT cover their heads and faces.
This brought to mind a legislation in France a few years ago, which made the display of overt religious symbols an offence, where burkha clad women protested saying its their right to wear what they want to wear. And the modern, secular, gender-sensitive state cracks down on them. Orhan Pamuk's Snow speaks of a similar irony in secular Turkey where wearing the burkha, even out of choice and not out of compulsion, is seen as a sign of fundamentalism and chauvinism.
Secularism and modernity contradict themselves all the time. Yet, it's odd to see and hear things like these, when one more or less thinks the lines between two polarities have been clearly etched and the two sides very easily definable. So does one say that in one case, allowing women to cover their heads is okay and in another it's not?
Or does one simply wear a helmet on a two wheeler?
It's Finally Over!!! (or is it?...)
The first 4 are of the living-dining room, the 5th one of the study table and the last one of the bedroom. i take horrible photos.
19.7.08
Patriotism...
The legal length of the Indian national anthem is 52 seconds.
So the next time you wonder why your local movie theatre subjects you to a extra long rendition with AR Rahman flipping his hair or are forced to see a horrendous animation of the Indian flag, just remember that the theatre owner is making sure that no disrespect is shown towards the anthem. A anthem-like song going on for more than 52 seconds doesn't remain the anthem anymore, so it really doesn't matter if someone doesn't stand up. Naa rahega baans, naa bajegi baansuri.
Very patriotic. Maybe some of our political parties should N-gage in such silent show of patriotism, rather than the tamasha going on right now.
So the next time you wonder why your local movie theatre subjects you to a extra long rendition with AR Rahman flipping his hair or are forced to see a horrendous animation of the Indian flag, just remember that the theatre owner is making sure that no disrespect is shown towards the anthem. A anthem-like song going on for more than 52 seconds doesn't remain the anthem anymore, so it really doesn't matter if someone doesn't stand up. Naa rahega baans, naa bajegi baansuri.
Very patriotic. Maybe some of our political parties should N-gage in such silent show of patriotism, rather than the tamasha going on right now.
6.7.08
23.6.08
Stupid...
Today, as he sways his cool arthritically bent hands to some heavy bass, AD declares with the air of a savant: "Indians are too stupid to understand rap music"
For a minute lets assume he didn't mean to be so blatantly stereotypical. What does one need to understand about rap music?
Is the highly misogynistic lyrics too difficult to figure out? Does it take a genius to figure out that Eminem is "singing" about killing his wife?
Is it the extreme fascination with sex coded into the lyrics not easy to understand? i mean, how obvious does 'I like big butts and I cannot lie' sound?
Don't get me wrong. i like certain rap artists, atleast the ones who have something useful to say. Like when Jay-Z makes '99 Problems', you know he's writing from the heart about being stereotyped. Or even some Dr. Dre and Coolio songs are really about what rap music set out to be: the voice for a minority community.
But what does one make out of 50 Cent and his glamourous tale of being shot 9 times and still living. Or Akon faking a prison term so he sounds cooler. Or Kanye West being made an outcast in the rap world just because he had middle class parents. Or the dumbification of people in an entire country and maybe even the world by people singing about 'Du-ing thaat thang' who can't even spell their names correctly. (Yung Joc? What grade did he dropout in?)
Does anyone else find extremely outsized clothes and pants that fall off on a single touch irritating? It was apparently started by some rap musicians from the Bronx who were so poor they couldn't afford to buy new clothes and mostly wore oversized hand-me-downs. So the attire became a part of their identity. But it looks really absurd to see a visibly well-to-do Bandra boy with pants that start at his knees and so loose that he's trying hard to hold it up. i wonder what will happen if someone tries to steal his "bling-blings". Will he run after the thief or stand back to protect his degraded sense of self?
Maybe what attracts people to rap music is the glamour factor of an adventurous life. For a white middle class guy or a bored spoilt townie, the life of a rap musician is exciting. A life marked by gang wars, drugs and loose women who want to drop their clothes at the snap of a finger.
So AD, i'm sorry i don't understand rap music. Maybe one day when i get into your position of protracted ennui, i would be a little more enlightened.
'If you're having girl problems i feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems but the bitch ain't one'
For a minute lets assume he didn't mean to be so blatantly stereotypical. What does one need to understand about rap music?
Is the highly misogynistic lyrics too difficult to figure out? Does it take a genius to figure out that Eminem is "singing" about killing his wife?
Is it the extreme fascination with sex coded into the lyrics not easy to understand? i mean, how obvious does 'I like big butts and I cannot lie' sound?
Don't get me wrong. i like certain rap artists, atleast the ones who have something useful to say. Like when Jay-Z makes '99 Problems', you know he's writing from the heart about being stereotyped. Or even some Dr. Dre and Coolio songs are really about what rap music set out to be: the voice for a minority community.
But what does one make out of 50 Cent and his glamourous tale of being shot 9 times and still living. Or Akon faking a prison term so he sounds cooler. Or Kanye West being made an outcast in the rap world just because he had middle class parents. Or the dumbification of people in an entire country and maybe even the world by people singing about 'Du-ing thaat thang' who can't even spell their names correctly. (Yung Joc? What grade did he dropout in?)
Does anyone else find extremely outsized clothes and pants that fall off on a single touch irritating? It was apparently started by some rap musicians from the Bronx who were so poor they couldn't afford to buy new clothes and mostly wore oversized hand-me-downs. So the attire became a part of their identity. But it looks really absurd to see a visibly well-to-do Bandra boy with pants that start at his knees and so loose that he's trying hard to hold it up. i wonder what will happen if someone tries to steal his "bling-blings". Will he run after the thief or stand back to protect his degraded sense of self?
Maybe what attracts people to rap music is the glamour factor of an adventurous life. For a white middle class guy or a bored spoilt townie, the life of a rap musician is exciting. A life marked by gang wars, drugs and loose women who want to drop their clothes at the snap of a finger.
So AD, i'm sorry i don't understand rap music. Maybe one day when i get into your position of protracted ennui, i would be a little more enlightened.
'If you're having girl problems i feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems but the bitch ain't one'
15.3.08
Notes from the underclass...
i'm sure millions of Indians like me have felt it before.
That sickening feeling you get when you're about to put that morsel of chicken in your mouth. Just because your vegetarian friend feels you're doing something 'wrong'.
The frustration you feel when you realise that all the restaurants along Marine Drive do not serve non-veg because they're afraid local residents will burn their restaurants down.
The feeling of being an outcast when your landlord asks you to choose between cooking non-veg or leaving your apartment.
i think its time we accept that non-vegetarians are the new untouchables of this country. We've been barraged by religious zealots, health experts, celebrity dieters and housing societies all over the country. i have heard every excuse for justifying vegetarianism, every form of emotional blackmail and even threats to make me stop eating non-vegetarian food.
It all seems bearable. After all, its all done 'unofficially'. No one can actually force me to stop eating non-veg food. Maybe not yet...
There was a piece of news hidden under all the news about IPL, Tibet and Mayawati. A Jain group approached the Supreme Court to stop the slaughter of animals and sale of meat during some festival and (shockingly) the SC agreed! This time aggressive vegetarianism justified by saying, 'Only for nine days'.
Maybe its time to include a 'Right to Eat' in our constitution. But just like our 'Right to free speech', it'll have a rider attached to it: Eating chicken in vegetarian parts of the city will be considered an act of inciting violence. The offender will be remanded to 'protective police custody'.
That sickening feeling you get when you're about to put that morsel of chicken in your mouth. Just because your vegetarian friend feels you're doing something 'wrong'.
The frustration you feel when you realise that all the restaurants along Marine Drive do not serve non-veg because they're afraid local residents will burn their restaurants down.
The feeling of being an outcast when your landlord asks you to choose between cooking non-veg or leaving your apartment.
i think its time we accept that non-vegetarians are the new untouchables of this country. We've been barraged by religious zealots, health experts, celebrity dieters and housing societies all over the country. i have heard every excuse for justifying vegetarianism, every form of emotional blackmail and even threats to make me stop eating non-vegetarian food.
It all seems bearable. After all, its all done 'unofficially'. No one can actually force me to stop eating non-veg food. Maybe not yet...
There was a piece of news hidden under all the news about IPL, Tibet and Mayawati. A Jain group approached the Supreme Court to stop the slaughter of animals and sale of meat during some festival and (shockingly) the SC agreed! This time aggressive vegetarianism justified by saying, 'Only for nine days'.
Maybe its time to include a 'Right to Eat' in our constitution. But just like our 'Right to free speech', it'll have a rider attached to it: Eating chicken in vegetarian parts of the city will be considered an act of inciting violence. The offender will be remanded to 'protective police custody'.
6.1.08
Tomorrow's Headline...
i feel sorry for the newspaper editors of this country today. Look at their options for tomorrow's headline...
'Andrew Symonds racially abused by Harbhajan Singh'
- Huh?!! What?!! A white man abused by a brown man??
'Match referee believes Michael Clarke, bans Harbhajan'
- Wow... that would be funny. Or maybe someone got reallllyyy drunk. Would you trust someone who doesn't walk when it's obvious he's out?
'Indian calls Australian a monkey'
- i think we need to call Sanath Jayasuriya to bear witness.
'Australians complain about sledging'
- Oh come on!
Maybe this would be appropriate:
'Race row in Australia: Brown man suffers'
'Andrew Symonds racially abused by Harbhajan Singh'
- Huh?!! What?!! A white man abused by a brown man??
'Match referee believes Michael Clarke, bans Harbhajan'
- Wow... that would be funny. Or maybe someone got reallllyyy drunk. Would you trust someone who doesn't walk when it's obvious he's out?
'Indian calls Australian a monkey'
- i think we need to call Sanath Jayasuriya to bear witness.
'Australians complain about sledging'
- Oh come on!
Maybe this would be appropriate:
'Race row in Australia: Brown man suffers'
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)