The legal length of the Indian national anthem is 52 seconds.
So the next time you wonder why your local movie theatre subjects you to a extra long rendition with AR Rahman flipping his hair or are forced to see a horrendous animation of the Indian flag, just remember that the theatre owner is making sure that no disrespect is shown towards the anthem. A anthem-like song going on for more than 52 seconds doesn't remain the anthem anymore, so it really doesn't matter if someone doesn't stand up. Naa rahega baans, naa bajegi baansuri.
Very patriotic. Maybe some of our political parties should N-gage in such silent show of patriotism, rather than the tamasha going on right now.
19.7.08
6.7.08
23.6.08
Stupid...
Today, as he sways his cool arthritically bent hands to some heavy bass, AD declares with the air of a savant: "Indians are too stupid to understand rap music"
For a minute lets assume he didn't mean to be so blatantly stereotypical. What does one need to understand about rap music?
Is the highly misogynistic lyrics too difficult to figure out? Does it take a genius to figure out that Eminem is "singing" about killing his wife?
Is it the extreme fascination with sex coded into the lyrics not easy to understand? i mean, how obvious does 'I like big butts and I cannot lie' sound?
Don't get me wrong. i like certain rap artists, atleast the ones who have something useful to say. Like when Jay-Z makes '99 Problems', you know he's writing from the heart about being stereotyped. Or even some Dr. Dre and Coolio songs are really about what rap music set out to be: the voice for a minority community.
But what does one make out of 50 Cent and his glamourous tale of being shot 9 times and still living. Or Akon faking a prison term so he sounds cooler. Or Kanye West being made an outcast in the rap world just because he had middle class parents. Or the dumbification of people in an entire country and maybe even the world by people singing about 'Du-ing thaat thang' who can't even spell their names correctly. (Yung Joc? What grade did he dropout in?)
Does anyone else find extremely outsized clothes and pants that fall off on a single touch irritating? It was apparently started by some rap musicians from the Bronx who were so poor they couldn't afford to buy new clothes and mostly wore oversized hand-me-downs. So the attire became a part of their identity. But it looks really absurd to see a visibly well-to-do Bandra boy with pants that start at his knees and so loose that he's trying hard to hold it up. i wonder what will happen if someone tries to steal his "bling-blings". Will he run after the thief or stand back to protect his degraded sense of self?
Maybe what attracts people to rap music is the glamour factor of an adventurous life. For a white middle class guy or a bored spoilt townie, the life of a rap musician is exciting. A life marked by gang wars, drugs and loose women who want to drop their clothes at the snap of a finger.
So AD, i'm sorry i don't understand rap music. Maybe one day when i get into your position of protracted ennui, i would be a little more enlightened.
'If you're having girl problems i feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems but the bitch ain't one'
For a minute lets assume he didn't mean to be so blatantly stereotypical. What does one need to understand about rap music?
Is the highly misogynistic lyrics too difficult to figure out? Does it take a genius to figure out that Eminem is "singing" about killing his wife?
Is it the extreme fascination with sex coded into the lyrics not easy to understand? i mean, how obvious does 'I like big butts and I cannot lie' sound?
Don't get me wrong. i like certain rap artists, atleast the ones who have something useful to say. Like when Jay-Z makes '99 Problems', you know he's writing from the heart about being stereotyped. Or even some Dr. Dre and Coolio songs are really about what rap music set out to be: the voice for a minority community.
But what does one make out of 50 Cent and his glamourous tale of being shot 9 times and still living. Or Akon faking a prison term so he sounds cooler. Or Kanye West being made an outcast in the rap world just because he had middle class parents. Or the dumbification of people in an entire country and maybe even the world by people singing about 'Du-ing thaat thang' who can't even spell their names correctly. (Yung Joc? What grade did he dropout in?)
Does anyone else find extremely outsized clothes and pants that fall off on a single touch irritating? It was apparently started by some rap musicians from the Bronx who were so poor they couldn't afford to buy new clothes and mostly wore oversized hand-me-downs. So the attire became a part of their identity. But it looks really absurd to see a visibly well-to-do Bandra boy with pants that start at his knees and so loose that he's trying hard to hold it up. i wonder what will happen if someone tries to steal his "bling-blings". Will he run after the thief or stand back to protect his degraded sense of self?
Maybe what attracts people to rap music is the glamour factor of an adventurous life. For a white middle class guy or a bored spoilt townie, the life of a rap musician is exciting. A life marked by gang wars, drugs and loose women who want to drop their clothes at the snap of a finger.
So AD, i'm sorry i don't understand rap music. Maybe one day when i get into your position of protracted ennui, i would be a little more enlightened.
'If you're having girl problems i feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems but the bitch ain't one'
15.3.08
Notes from the underclass...
i'm sure millions of Indians like me have felt it before.
That sickening feeling you get when you're about to put that morsel of chicken in your mouth. Just because your vegetarian friend feels you're doing something 'wrong'.
The frustration you feel when you realise that all the restaurants along Marine Drive do not serve non-veg because they're afraid local residents will burn their restaurants down.
The feeling of being an outcast when your landlord asks you to choose between cooking non-veg or leaving your apartment.
i think its time we accept that non-vegetarians are the new untouchables of this country. We've been barraged by religious zealots, health experts, celebrity dieters and housing societies all over the country. i have heard every excuse for justifying vegetarianism, every form of emotional blackmail and even threats to make me stop eating non-vegetarian food.
It all seems bearable. After all, its all done 'unofficially'. No one can actually force me to stop eating non-veg food. Maybe not yet...
There was a piece of news hidden under all the news about IPL, Tibet and Mayawati. A Jain group approached the Supreme Court to stop the slaughter of animals and sale of meat during some festival and (shockingly) the SC agreed! This time aggressive vegetarianism justified by saying, 'Only for nine days'.
Maybe its time to include a 'Right to Eat' in our constitution. But just like our 'Right to free speech', it'll have a rider attached to it: Eating chicken in vegetarian parts of the city will be considered an act of inciting violence. The offender will be remanded to 'protective police custody'.
That sickening feeling you get when you're about to put that morsel of chicken in your mouth. Just because your vegetarian friend feels you're doing something 'wrong'.
The frustration you feel when you realise that all the restaurants along Marine Drive do not serve non-veg because they're afraid local residents will burn their restaurants down.
The feeling of being an outcast when your landlord asks you to choose between cooking non-veg or leaving your apartment.
i think its time we accept that non-vegetarians are the new untouchables of this country. We've been barraged by religious zealots, health experts, celebrity dieters and housing societies all over the country. i have heard every excuse for justifying vegetarianism, every form of emotional blackmail and even threats to make me stop eating non-vegetarian food.
It all seems bearable. After all, its all done 'unofficially'. No one can actually force me to stop eating non-veg food. Maybe not yet...
There was a piece of news hidden under all the news about IPL, Tibet and Mayawati. A Jain group approached the Supreme Court to stop the slaughter of animals and sale of meat during some festival and (shockingly) the SC agreed! This time aggressive vegetarianism justified by saying, 'Only for nine days'.
Maybe its time to include a 'Right to Eat' in our constitution. But just like our 'Right to free speech', it'll have a rider attached to it: Eating chicken in vegetarian parts of the city will be considered an act of inciting violence. The offender will be remanded to 'protective police custody'.
6.1.08
Tomorrow's Headline...
i feel sorry for the newspaper editors of this country today. Look at their options for tomorrow's headline...
'Andrew Symonds racially abused by Harbhajan Singh'
- Huh?!! What?!! A white man abused by a brown man??
'Match referee believes Michael Clarke, bans Harbhajan'
- Wow... that would be funny. Or maybe someone got reallllyyy drunk. Would you trust someone who doesn't walk when it's obvious he's out?
'Indian calls Australian a monkey'
- i think we need to call Sanath Jayasuriya to bear witness.
'Australians complain about sledging'
- Oh come on!
Maybe this would be appropriate:
'Race row in Australia: Brown man suffers'
'Andrew Symonds racially abused by Harbhajan Singh'
- Huh?!! What?!! A white man abused by a brown man??
'Match referee believes Michael Clarke, bans Harbhajan'
- Wow... that would be funny. Or maybe someone got reallllyyy drunk. Would you trust someone who doesn't walk when it's obvious he's out?
'Indian calls Australian a monkey'
- i think we need to call Sanath Jayasuriya to bear witness.
'Australians complain about sledging'
- Oh come on!
Maybe this would be appropriate:
'Race row in Australia: Brown man suffers'
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