Turns out some Muslim cleric declared a fatwa against a newspaper that showed Adam and Eve in the nude.
In light of this news, i offer the Genesis after Day 6.
On the seventh day, God teaches Adam and Eve to weave, cut and stitch cloth.
On the eight day, Adam and Eve discover polyester.
On the ninth day, Adam keeps some planks over some rocks. He calls it a 'ramp'.
On the tenth day, Adam turns up wearing a pink turtleneck, skin-fit jeans and a beret and tells Eve, 'We need to talk....'
18.6.07
11.6.07
Sentient Being...
Today i had a conversation with the rickshaw wala about Oil Politics in the World.
It started quite innocuously with him asking why the rains were delayed this year. i figured he was curious enough to merit an explanation about the cyclone in Oman and how it was affecting our monsoon. Then he asks whether the oil production in Oman was affected. i said ya, but it'll be okay in a few weeks.
Few seconds later, "We get our petrol from Oman??" i said, maybe, we get it from all over the world.
"This Reliance-weliance found petrol in Rajasthan or something, no?" i said, ya, i think so.
"Then why we have to get it from outside?" Well, for one we can't produce enough and also the oil we get here is too expensive to convert to petrol.
The topic is rested for a while. In the meantime, i ask him where he's from etc etc. Turns out he's from Rajasthan and barely studied till 7th standard.
Then again he starts, "Why can't something else be used instead of petrol. Now we use gas in rickshaws, why can't gas be used?" Hmm. Good question. Tried to explain how America has the same number of cars as the rest of the world and getting any serious savings on petrol will need them to switch fast to CNG or something... mumble mumble
The explanation doesn't seem convincing. He asks me about HYBRID CARS! Apparently he saw an electric car on the road.
"They run okay no? And they save so much petrol!" Nod nod. Awe. Surprise.
And then the final bomb. "They should make every car run on electricity, lot of problems will be solved. All this drilling-willing for oil doesn't need to be done no?? You educated people should think about all these things." Nod nod. Guilt.
And then promptly he cuts two lanes to his left and yells at the passing cars in the choicest of shudh Hindi abuses.
This guy should be in government...
It started quite innocuously with him asking why the rains were delayed this year. i figured he was curious enough to merit an explanation about the cyclone in Oman and how it was affecting our monsoon. Then he asks whether the oil production in Oman was affected. i said ya, but it'll be okay in a few weeks.
Few seconds later, "We get our petrol from Oman??" i said, maybe, we get it from all over the world.
"This Reliance-weliance found petrol in Rajasthan or something, no?" i said, ya, i think so.
"Then why we have to get it from outside?" Well, for one we can't produce enough and also the oil we get here is too expensive to convert to petrol.
The topic is rested for a while. In the meantime, i ask him where he's from etc etc. Turns out he's from Rajasthan and barely studied till 7th standard.
Then again he starts, "Why can't something else be used instead of petrol. Now we use gas in rickshaws, why can't gas be used?" Hmm. Good question. Tried to explain how America has the same number of cars as the rest of the world and getting any serious savings on petrol will need them to switch fast to CNG or something... mumble mumble
The explanation doesn't seem convincing. He asks me about HYBRID CARS! Apparently he saw an electric car on the road.
"They run okay no? And they save so much petrol!" Nod nod. Awe. Surprise.
And then the final bomb. "They should make every car run on electricity, lot of problems will be solved. All this drilling-willing for oil doesn't need to be done no?? You educated people should think about all these things." Nod nod. Guilt.
And then promptly he cuts two lanes to his left and yells at the passing cars in the choicest of shudh Hindi abuses.
This guy should be in government...
9.6.07
Ghosts...
Pictures from a building getting torn down in Juhu Scheme. Shigeru Ban, eat your heart out.My apologies for the poor picture quality.
4.6.07
Weird Stories Part I...
Since i have nothing to write about, i will go on a trip down memory lane and find some exciting stories from my really really boring life...
When i was in 12th standard, while going to Kalrashukla Classes in Parle (east) all of us who stayed on the western side and close enough to make it by bus had to get off at a bus stop called Rasraj, with a scenic view of a huge gutter and squatting people every morning...
One day (what i thought was) an urban legend of the 'Sekchool Predator' reached my ears. Apparently two guys and two girls were standing at the bus stop on their way home ('Scream' director, i have a copyright for this story...) and some fat, middle-aged was walking up and down the length of the bus stop and whispering 'sekchool, sekchool' when he got close to the 4 of them. Now before they could do anything about it, their bus came and they thought 'better to just ignore it'. (or maybe they were too chicken to do anything about it...)
The Sekchool Predator laid low for a few days... Till one day he resurfaced and
came across his next victim... me!!! (not such an exciting twist, no?)
This time he approached his lonely victim from the side. i was listening to music for some time and failed to notice the fat, middle-aged man fitting the description of SP. Soon the music stopped and the earplugs came out. i could someone trying to get my attention with some words almost in a whisper. 'Sek, sek' is what the voice said. 'Sek'?? What was that? A unit of time, perhaps? i looked around and SP was pacing up and down the length of the bus stop (very repetitive story, but what to do?). Strange. Then he started using the word that struck terror (ok im over exaggerating) in the hearts of young people all over the world (ok this is definitely over the top): Sekchool.
And then my bus came and i hopped onto it and went home. Never heard from him or about him ever again.
Until of course, some people in college (PD for example) referred to similar incidents at the same bus stop, but that was four years later...
Theories:
1) Desperate guy looking for some 'sek' with anything that moves.
2) Pervert who gets turned on by using the word.
3) Pimp trying to advertise his whores.
4) Guy offering a place for young couples to make out (yes, this was one of the theories that stemmed from the first incident).
5) Prankster out to scare poor, innocent kids.
6) Some lout who has nothing better to do in life.
Moral of the Story: The long awaited bus always comes when the story is just beginning to get interesting...
When i was in 12th standard, while going to Kalrashukla Classes in Parle (east) all of us who stayed on the western side and close enough to make it by bus had to get off at a bus stop called Rasraj, with a scenic view of a huge gutter and squatting people every morning...
One day (what i thought was) an urban legend of the 'Sekchool Predator' reached my ears. Apparently two guys and two girls were standing at the bus stop on their way home ('Scream' director, i have a copyright for this story...) and some fat, middle-aged was walking up and down the length of the bus stop and whispering 'sekchool, sekchool' when he got close to the 4 of them. Now before they could do anything about it, their bus came and they thought 'better to just ignore it'. (or maybe they were too chicken to do anything about it...)
The Sekchool Predator laid low for a few days... Till one day he resurfaced and
came across his next victim... me!!! (not such an exciting twist, no?)
This time he approached his lonely victim from the side. i was listening to music for some time and failed to notice the fat, middle-aged man fitting the description of SP. Soon the music stopped and the earplugs came out. i could someone trying to get my attention with some words almost in a whisper. 'Sek, sek' is what the voice said. 'Sek'?? What was that? A unit of time, perhaps? i looked around and SP was pacing up and down the length of the bus stop (very repetitive story, but what to do?). Strange. Then he started using the word that struck terror (ok im over exaggerating) in the hearts of young people all over the world (ok this is definitely over the top): Sekchool.
And then my bus came and i hopped onto it and went home. Never heard from him or about him ever again.
Until of course, some people in college (PD for example) referred to similar incidents at the same bus stop, but that was four years later...
Theories:
1) Desperate guy looking for some 'sek' with anything that moves.
2) Pervert who gets turned on by using the word.
3) Pimp trying to advertise his whores.
4) Guy offering a place for young couples to make out (yes, this was one of the theories that stemmed from the first incident).
5) Prankster out to scare poor, innocent kids.
6) Some lout who has nothing better to do in life.
Moral of the Story: The long awaited bus always comes when the story is just beginning to get interesting...
2.6.07
Doppelganger...
Me as a South Park character...
This is a really fun site! i spent almost an hour trying to get myself right (in the process got South Park characters for lots of people i know, contact me if you think you are on the list).
Thanks to DG for the referral.
And yay!! i crossed the 4000 mark on my hit counter! That's quite a sucky number for 1.5 years of this blog, but still....
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