Karan Johar...

My favourite billboard is one that stands right outside my bedroom window. Very useful, especially when the computer misbehaves or the world wide wait gets longer. Today, it shows me a poster for Karan Johar's latest magnum opus, 'Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna'. Studded with the most saleable stars in Bollywood, it attempts (or so i've heard) to recreate 'Closer' but with an 'Indian' heart. 'Closer' portrays the extra-marital affair in the grey, vague territory it lies in. Is it about lust, longing, love or just revenge? And from KANK's trailers, i know it's a totally sappy Karan Johar melodrama about (i quote from the poster) 'A Love... That Broke All Relationships'. Sob Sob. Clap Clap. Good tagline.

i'm expecting a truly bad movie. For one, it has Shahrukh Khan spreading his arms out to violins in the background like he's done in 300 million scenes before this movie. It has Amitabh Bachchan getting credit as if he's the hero of the movie. Karan wants to be in 'Amit uncle's' good books. He gets to say lines like 'Love and death creep up when you least expect it.' And i'm sure there's a loooooong unneccessary role for him complete with dance sequence because 'he's soooo cute even at this age!!!' (puke) And it has the requisite Disco-with-Bhartiya-Dil song. And the slick promos with brown leaves floating all around. And foreign locations with all their sanitised glassiness. And the list goes on. And it won't matter if it's a bad movie. All the critics will shower their praises on him and then call and say 'When will you read my script?', YashRaj films will declare it a hit within a weekend. All theatres, all shows will be KANK KANK KANK...(sounds like a rooster with a stone stuck in his throat) Ugh.
Why can't he stop making movies when all of them look the same??

Oh, they're changing the poster now. Wow! It's Mallika Sherawat and Rahul Bose in a movie together!!!! Now i don't know whether to watch it or leave it...