Weddings...

i was forced to attend a family wedding recently. In the midst of feeling bored and complaining loudly that i didn't know anybody, i found the typical animals who inhabit every wedding hall.

1. The Cheeka: (Auntica pinchika)
Usually found near anyone who has a kid. Stealthily waits for prey usually fat young specimen and attacks without any warning. Aims for the face, probably to tear flesh from bone. Solitary creature. Older ones may attack mature specimens.

2. The Forget-me-not: (Auntica historica)
Interacts only with by younger specimen of species. Interacts only in questions usually related to events of prey's childhood. Escape rarely possible unless prey has photographic memory.

3. The Help-me-out: (Geriatrica helplessa)
Species waits for hours to get prey. Attacks only at close quarters. Uses prey as crutch unless prey is attacked by Cheek-puller (refer above). Otherwise unavoidable and unescapable. Escape may result in ostraciation by other members of the prey's herd.

4. The Grillers: (Humanae curiosa geneologicus)
Usually attack in pairs, either both male or both female. All knowledge of the jungle known between the two. Try finding species by repeated questions. Get aggressive if not answered. May result in embarassment and/or new position in family tree.

5. The Wannababe: (Fillica vainica)
Usually female. Preens around wedding hall , ostensibly to attract opposite sex of any species. Favourite with older male specimens of all species. Younger specimens tend to ignore advances or avoid it. Easy to avoid with repeated animosity.

6. The Whattababe: (Fillica sexica)
Female. Does not notice appreciative glances. Males tend to approach with caution for increased interaction. Usually seen with other females, notably mother who tends to resist any attempts at interaction. Approachable when other members of tribe hunting at other locations. If accompanied by Matriach, interaction impossible.

7. The Stud: (Tallfaira handsoma)
Male. Tends to be surrounded by female (and some males) herds permanently. Can be located easily by following female tracks. Found stuck to Wannababe. Tends to chase Whattababe, mostly successfully.

8. The Baa-Stud: (Hornica hornia)
Male. Hunts for females of any species. Usually unsuccessful because hunting methods are ineffective. Solitary creature. Only creature avoided by the Wannababe and Cheeka.

9. The Matriarch: (Auntica scaria)
Usually largest female. Orders herd/herds around from watering hole to gathering place and vice-versa. Found with fur on all visible parts of body and tends to speak in supersonic frequencies. Moves around wedding hall creating large amounts of space for own self. Trailed by other female species.

10. The Siamese Twins: (Couplea wearenexta)
Two specimens of different species which usually interact intimately within hours of meeting. Tend to dis-associate themselves from all occurences and opt for solitary location. Tend to be under watch by Matriarch and under greatest attack from the Cheeka.

List incomplete. This jungle has more variety than the Amazon.